Listening to
Understand

Definition of Active Listening

• Active Listening is an interactive process intended to assist the speaker and listener in understanding one another. 
• Active Listening is performed by attending to the speaker (with “Attending” Behaviors), thinking about the speaker’s message, and using a Sub-skill Response to facilitate understanding (i.e. clarifying, paraphrasing, reflecting, and/or summarizing statements).

Advantages of Listening to Understand

• Communicates understanding
• Promotes a positive relationship
• Helps the individual work toward positive change

Steps for Listening to Understand

1. Attend to the speaker with “Attending” Behaviors.
2. Think about the message.
3. Demonstrate understanding using a Sub-skill Response.
4. Start process again.

“Attending” Behaviors

“Attending” Behaviors are verbal and non-verbal behaviors displayed by the listener that communicate that the listener is paying attention to and is interested in the speaker’s message.

Examples:

• Refer to the speaker by name.
• Use encouraging statements, i.e. “Uh huh,” “Go on,” “I’m listening”
• Posture toward the speaker
• Maintain appropriate eye contact
• Display facial expressions that express interest and concern
• Nod head to convey affirmation
• Avoid distractions

Sub-skill Responses

Sub-skill Responses are verbal statements made by the listener that are intended to confirm, clarify, review or restate the information sent by the speaker and/or the feelings behind the information.

Sub-Skill Responses include:

Clarifying statements: Help to clear up any confusing parts of the speaker’s message; are usually phrased in question form.

Examples:

• “So you aren’t sure what to do this weekend?”

• “Are you saying that you can’t find your journal?”

• “You had a good day today, is that right?”

Paraphrasing statements: Use the listener’s words to restate the main ideas of the message.

Examples:

• “Your plans for the weekend have changed.”

• “Your journal is missing and you don’t know where it is.”

• “You were really busy today.” 

Reflecting statements: Help focus the speaker on the feelings behind the content of the message.

Examples:

• “You’re feeling confused about the change in your weekend plans.”

• “You’re worried about your missing journal.”
• “A busy and fun day sure makes you feel happy.”

Summarizing statements: Tie together multiple ideas expressed by the speaker to help focus the speaker’s thoughts.

Examples:

• “You were looking forward to the weekend, but your plans fell through and now you need to figure out what to do instead.”
• “It sounds like you don’t know where your journal is, and you’re concerned about someone finding and reading it.” 
• “So it seems that keeping busy and doing fun things helps you have a good day.”